__It begins slowly, so slowly that I hardly notice at first. My chest tightens and my heart begins to beat a fraction faster. I try to draw breath, but instead I choke on oxygen I can't inhale. As I realise that I can't breathe, the panic wraps itself around my mind.__  
__I can't make myself draw a breath.__

Rachael was aged just six when she had her first suicidal thought. Over the next decade, life would become increasingly fraught with depression and self-harm, and her outlook only bleaker. Before her eighteenth birthday, Rachael would twice try to take her own life.

And yet amidst this darkness, a flicker of faith lived on.

This is Rachael's story of her journey into, and out of, the darkness of depression. With unflinching realism and complete honesty, she shows us what it looks like to live with mental illness, and how God can find us and rescue us even in the most desperate of places.

Rachael Newham

Prologue

Introduction

1 First breaths

2 Struggling for air

3 Suffocation

4 Resuscitation

5 Learning to breathe

Epilogue

Appendix

Resources

Notes

It begins slowly, so slowly that I hardly notice at first. My chest tightens and my heart begins to beat a fraction faster. I try to draw breath, but instead I choke on oxygen I can’t inhale. As I realise that I can’t breathe, the panic wraps itself around my mind.  
I can’t make myself draw a breath.   
  
Rachael was aged just six when she had her first suicidal thought. Over the next decade, life would become increasingly fraught with depression and self-harm, and her outlook only bleaker. Before her eighteenth birthday, Rachael would twice try to take her own life.  
  
And yet amidst this darkness, a flicker of faith lived on.  
  
This is Rachael’s story of her journey into, and out of, the darkness of depression. With unflinching realism and complete honesty, she shows us what it looks like to live with mental illness, and how God can find us and rescue us even in the most desperate of places.

\["For anyone with experience of mental illness","Rachael Newham shares her own story of struggling with depression","You'll discover how no one is too lost for God"\]

Told with an unflinching honesty, Learning to Breathe is a Rachael Newham's story of growing up with crippling depression, and of being found by God.

Tanya Marlow

Rachael Newham offers an __utterly engrossing, well-written memoir of how it really feels to be a teenager and young adult battling severe mental illness,__ and the reality of the limitations of the NHS and children’s mental health services in the UK. There’s been a lot written about depression and faith recently – but few things written about depression so dark or severe it consumes you with thoughts of suicide.

The solutions she offers are woven into her story, but they centre on the love of Christ expressed in genuine friendship, without fear. __The whole church should read this book__ – with rising mental illness especially among younger people this is a timely call for greater understanding, compassion and above all, hope for all suffering from depression. This is another vital book for the church.

(NB If you are feeling suicidal or have attempted suicide in the past then I would advise you talking through the book with a trusted friend as you read it, in case it’s triggering for you. It has frequent references to suicide, though it doesn’t glamourise or describe suicidal attempts in detail in the way that, for example, 13 Reasons does.) __Important and compelling – highly recommended.__

Superb Christian memoir on depression

Learning to Breathe

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Learning to Breathe

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